To Helen Back

My dear friend Lindsey, rest assured I don’t have misconstrued perceptions regarding the size of my butt. No, no, I save those for other issues. The comment in my previous post was my lame quotation of a lyric from a song by Queen, in which Freddie Mercury enthusiastically instructs us to “get on your bikes and ride!”

Awhile back I did just that, along with my friend Stephanie (who travelled from California just to do this!) and my cousins Kim & Tina. This was the Little Red Riding Hood bike ride near Logan that raises money to fund Women’s cancer research.

The night before the ride, we stayed up way too late. Stephanie survived the initiation to our family & even fell asleep amid our hysterical laughter (I’m not so sure our neighboring hotel room occupants were as lucky). As someone put it best, it was reminiscent of sleepovers at our Grandparent’s house on the patio.



Brrrr...it was cold.

The morning of the ride came quick. Team Bad Ass felt more like Team Dragon Ass, but we got there in time and jumped on the road for a beautiful, scenic ride. I admit I had a lot of reservations about the distance we set out to accomplish. I had more than a few mental blocks in place, I hadn’t trained at all like I’d intended prior to the ride and it was freezing cold to start. As the day went on, the blocks came down, the sun came out and cussing & cursing (under my breath of course) at some of the climbs helped everything come together, all 100 miles of it.

This ride was significant to me, not just the cause or the distance alone, but who I did it with. All three of these women are so important to me, they were there at my diagnosis, throughout my treatment, and my completion. They’ve all had their own challenges and faced them with courage & dignity. When we were little I always tried to keep up with my cousins in everything they did, especially in the pool. I was just a little out of my depth or lacked the endurance to swim as long as they could, but they’d encouraged me to keep going. I’ve always admired Stephanie for her compassion (a true challenge to maintain in her profession) and willingness to give and help others. Doing this ride together and in the company of such amazing women seemed a perfect conclusion to a very long ride.



Rolling hills - no serious climbs..whatever! 
It was worth it even if my downhill speed was only equivalent to Lance's normal cruising speed.



Kim finally found the highly coveted Oreo at one of the stops!



Some days you can't escape being surrounded by asses.



Four gargoyles at this house somewhere outside of Lewiston & the middle of no where!

I got back on my bike earlier this week.  A few wounds still healing, but it was nice to be on my favorite trail, find my cadence, lower my head, and watch the yellow dashes flash by on the side.  It's a strange tranquility too, when I look up and see the blue flax and red poppies in bloom with splashes of orange wildflowers, deer grazing near a pond, all to the sounds of Robert Plant singing in one ear & frogs croaking in the other.

p.s.  Good luck to all you Ragnar freaks this weekend.  That requires an entirely different type of insanity.

The Mouse, The Myth, The Legend

I doubt there is anything more that I can share with you about Disneyland that you don't already know, except that there is a central line of the worlds most perfect Coca Cola which is dispensed by arteries throughout the entire park, the churrors are still unsurpassed, and the Yellow Submarines still bite. Having said that, I'll just share the vacation experience via pictures.  First stop..the beach.

Home again, home again.

A perfect Baywatch run.  Mitch Buchanan would be proud.

Not convinced they should be slurped.



A quick visit to the beach, but a good one. 
I found my first piece of sea glass and 50 cents worth of a sand dollar.



My 1st visit to Disneyland circa 1986.
Riley asked why Papa was wearing his swim trunks.

Ok it's a deal.  You wear enormous sized sunglasses & I'll tie my shirt in a knot.



Their 1st visit.  Cold, wet, and rainy. 
Let me see what I can do about that.

Handing Walt my last c-note in exchange for some better weather.



Space Mountain - the 1st ride I ever went on too.



A little timid after hearing the roars from the Matterhorn's "abdominal snow monster," but Tyler seemed ok.



Look it worked!  Warm weather, warm weather.

A cup of "T."

There's swine flu, avian flu, mad cow and something about horse herpes?
I've heard there's an uprise in Amphibious Typhus.  I'll keep you posted.

I think he found his wish & he's taking it back.  I know I am.



Tyler loves trains!  Especially ones with really big chuggers.



How could he resist her?

"You can learn a lot of things from the flowers."

No caption necessary.

Summer is here, even if the temperature doesn't feel like it yet, and this fat bottomed girl has got to make the rockin' world go round.  Next up..a really, really long bike ride in Logan with more to follow.  Keep in touch my friends and with that, I bid you adieu.

Pet Peeve #9: When the National Anthem is performed in a way to showcase one’s vocal abilities (as though it’s being recorded for a top 40 hit), without reverence and selflessness, and NOT KNOWING THE LYRICS.

When I am Queen, the first item of business will be a ban on vocal variations when performing this song, effective immediately.

Other items of business, Congrats to SLCPD’s Robbery Squad for their kick-ass solvability stats, and to Det. Mike for completing his chemo/radiation treatments for Hodgkin’s!

As the country prepares cemeteries and monument sites for Memorial Day, and we as a nation acknowledge the sacrifices made by many on both foreign lands and the home front, two memories immediately come to mind.

First is from a visit to Washington D.C. on a warm, humid night. The Korean War Memorial and the surrounding monuments are lit so that they can be visited on self-guided tours after dark. There was lightning that night, non-threatening but frequent and the strikes would add a flash of light to the silent, motionless soldiers on patrol. They wear rain jackets and each one looking in a different direction, their expressions solemn yet focused. As I walked around this memorial I felt that even if it wasn’t intended to be viewed at night, it should be. How terrifying it would have been to not know, nor be able to see clearly what lies ahead, and yet these soldiers continue moving forward with bravery and purpose.

The second is that of the burial for a Fallen Officer. I didn’t know this officer well as I had only been working at the police department’s dispatch center for about 9 months. The great loss of this man was evident by the overwhelming feeling of grief the day that he was killed, and became most apparent to me at the end of that long shift when I46 gave the radio transmission that this fallen officer was 10-42 (end of service). Never again would I hear such sorrow in an officer’s voice as he respectfully ended his friend & co-workers shift. I could barely get past the lump in my throat to reply with an audible time check.

Following the funeral service in Herriman, it was a very long drive to the cemetery. The procession went on for miles. I saw something even more impressive than the endless line of police vehicles, motorcycles and glowing light bars. It was the assisting police agencies that helped with traffic control. Each officer or trooper assigned to an intersection was not just directing traffic, but standing at attention, as were many of the citizens that lined the streets. Traveling to Bountiful the freeway crosses over Beck Street. It was there off to the side, that construction workers stood facing the motorcade with their hats over their hearts. It’s most likely they didn’t know this officer, but they expressed their gratitude with this simple gesture. It was mid July, stifling hot, and the Bountiful Cemetery filled with people, all there to pay respect to one who made the ultimate sacrifice. After the 21-gun salute, the wind picked up and made the temperature bearable with a warm breeze as “Taps” was played.

All give some…some give all. A sentiment that couldn’t be more true and appropriate as we remember those who have given their all, be that soldiers of war, parents & children of soldiers, and those who protect us a little closer to home too.

Thank you to my grandfather’s, uncles, friends, co-workers, and all those who served in the Armed Forces.

One Not So Simple

A friend asked me how I came up with Lake Louise on my list of “places I would rather be.” I wish I had a short answer for that. Some time ago I was looking for a picture of Wall Lake in the Uintas, as my Google-images luck would have, I landed right in the middle of another blog. Immediately, I recognized that this was not the particular Wall Lake that I was looking for, so I read the blog for awhile to find where this one was located. Apparently, there is a Wall Lake in Canada as well. By now I was curious to learn more about the author. I bounced around the blog entries and quickly saw that she was a bicycle enthusiast and enjoyed reading about her excitement during her trips to Moab & Park City, and then I went a little numb. Damn it. She had cancer too. I now had to back up to the beginning of this blog to the first entry to read it completely through. My heart ached when I got towards the end and read that Heather did not survive breast cancer. Her friends & family have participated in cancer related fundraising bicycle rides & races, one of which was in Banff National Park, explaining how I stumbled upon photos of Lake Louise.

If you wish to read about Heather, her blog is http://onesimplegirl.wordpress.com

There you have it. Even more ironic, I was looking back in my calendar and exactly one year ago today I completed my last chemo treatment. Everyone said and everything I read told me it would be about a year before my body (and the rest of me too I suppose) would be back to normal. Not even close. Sure some things are much better, but I still have a lot of room for improvement. Now, rather than ending this entry on such a downer…let me share with you some of the best things I’ve heard recently.

Tyler: Mom, turn the water off! (As I was filling the tub with him already in it) The house is going to be all float.

Hmm…think this kid has heard any talk of floods lately?

Ever since Riley was a baby I’ve massaged her feet. I know, that doesn’t make sense for a person who finds feet repulsive (which I’m certain stemmed from working at a public pool for so long) to want to massage them right? She still loves it and while I do this before bedtime, she just starts talking about random happenings.

Riley: I saw a picture of you at Grandma’s when you were really young.

Me: Oh? Which one?

Riley: Well you had on red gloves and a tan jacket…

PAUSE FOR EXPLAINATION– When I was 15, my best friend & I had our “glamour shots” taken at Crossroads mall. Some of these photos have since resurfaced, although I thought I had destroyed all existing copies. A few of you know EXACTLY the one I’m talking about, and for that I’m truly sorry.

Riley: You looked a lot younger. You looked like a stranger, you know like someone going on a date to eat dinner or go bowling.

Me: (internal thought) Where does she come up with this stuff?

Tyler: Mom how old are you?

Me: Old.

Riley: But how old ARE you?

Me: I’m 35.

Riley & Tyler in unison: 35 YEARS OLD?!

Thanks kids. When your college funds are spent on my mid-life crisis, you’ll understand why.

Don't let these faces fool you.

I had put Tyler in a “time out.” He was adamant that he could sneak out, so I put him back in his room. He started crying as I walked down the hall so I stopped and just listened. His cries soon stopped then he said out loud,

“This is all my fault.”

Tyler I’m so proud of you. Most adults, me included, can’t and will not say those very words.

 

Tyler: Goodbye friend. I’ll love you tomorrow.

 

“You should never settle for who you are.” Michael Scott

What the_____?!

That has become the kid's favorite expression. There have been a few occasions when the question/sentiment has ended in a mild 4-letter word for which I take full responsibility. However, that’s exactly what went through my mind when I woke up this morning and looked outside only to see snow...again. It’s the last week of April so “What the hell?!” was completely appropriate. Even Riley looked out and said “I just want all this snow to melt!” C’mon Mother Nature, I understand menopause is rough, but maybe consider some hormone replacement therapy because this is really tiresome.

Here are a few places that I would rather be right now other than a cold 40 degrees in Utah:



Havasupai Falls



Musée Océanographique de Monaco



Keukenhof



Lake Louise - Canada





Seychelles











Here are some places you will never find me:

 

Dubai Hotels - or the Tower of Babel













Idiots!  And not only for wearing Speedos.





Preikestolen

 

Smoked crack prior to this photo op



Where would you go?  Or NOT go?

Gravity Always Wins

There are two that terrify me. First is needles, I cannot watch anything drawn from or being injected into me. I’d fail as a heroin addict. My second greatest fear...heights. This became very apparent when I was about 8 years old and hiked to the Timpanogos Cave with my family. Only a mile and a half hike up a non-strenuous paved trail, yet it felt like an eternity to accomplish. About mid-way up, I looked out into the canyon. Suddenly I felt like I could plummet to my death at any given moment. The vast open view was so overwhelming that I started to cry and continued crying the rest of the hike as I hugged the rock wall. The worst part was each switchback and knowing that I no longer had my precious wall to cling to. I’m sure my parents were already carrying a sibling on their backs, or else I would’ve made them carry me. Miraculously, I made it to the cave. I found complete comfort among the stalactites & stalagmites being tucked inside far from that treacherous drop-off. I was amazed by the incredible things I was seeing all around me, salt & pepper shakers, the shape of a St. Bernard’s head, and the mighty heart of the cave itself. I don’t even remember the walk down, getting in the car, or the drive home.

I went back to Timpanogos in my 20’s, this time to hike to the summit with my friends Sharra and Tony. We started early one summer morning. The weather was beautiful and there were a few mountain goats here & there. By afternoon we reached the summit, a little more than 11,700 feet about sea level. I couldn’t help but notice all the little groups of scub-scouts that made it there before me. I was a strong & healthy 20-something year old and slightly perturbed to find these little buggers had got here first! They must have started the night before.

There were plenty of rocks to secure myself between while we ate lunch. The anxiety didn’t kick in until we started our descent and reached the top of the Timp Glacier. It was July or August, still hot, but the glacier remained a frozen chunk of ice with a thin upper layer of slush. I sat at the top of this steep slope and looked down. What a breathtaking view, especially of Emerald Lake. There is was, an icy cold body of water, waiting to engulf you as you rapidly approach it while sliding down the hill at neck-break speeds.

I sat on my windbreaker tied around my waist, and noticed the squad of booger-miners slide down on their black Hefty garbage bags. Again! Beat by 8 year olds! Then Sharra & Tony took off without hesitation. I watched them glissade down so carefree. Obviously, they had done this before. I continued to sit and contemplated just how long it was take me to hike down the long way. I’m not sure how long I had sat there praying for someone to come up from behind and just shove me on my way, but I finally took a deep breath and went for it. It-was-so-fun! The rest of the hike, or hobble, was interesting, as the inherited arthritis in my knees had fully kicked-in by now. Aside from that, it was a great experience.



Approximately 1998 B.C. (before children), I went backpacking in the Uintas with a few friends/co-workers. We started at the Crystal Lake trailhead and made our way to Wall Lake. Not an exhausting hike, but once we set up camp we knew what needed to happen next. It was August and hot, especially for Uinta temperatures in the early evening.

There are two things you should know about a group of lifeguards:



I'm sure the lake was much,
much lower when I was there.



1) It is futile to expect them to stay out of water.

2) Water-safety rules do not apply to them, or so they think, (e.g. don’t just pack it, wear your jacket, cold can kill, and look before you leap.)



There was the lake, beckoning us to jump in, and not just jump in from the shore, but literally jump in. There’s a good reason why it is named Wall Lake. It was easy to climb up the wall of rocks, forgetting just how high up I had got before realizing I still had to come back down, one way or another. There I was again, like several times before, watching everyone else go first while I stood there, trying my best to muster enough courage to follow and wishing for that push from behind. Then pride stepped up and I finally jumped in. The water was a cold rush and once submerged it felt like my breath was stolen from my lungs, at the same time it was exhilarating.

Recently, I went snowboarding this winter after a 7-year hiatus, with my brother.  It wasn't too long before I got the hang of it again, and Shane was kind enough to let me warm up on the easy runs indicated by the welcoming green circles.  Then push came to shove, just like we were growing up, and he led me down an intermediate/expert trail.  It was so difficult for me to break out of the norm and feel comfortable about it, especially as I passed the blood-splattered snow (not my own, but a previous victim suffering from mid-life crisis) and thought to myself, "What the hell am I doing?"  However, I soon found myself having fun, exhausting, but fun.

I’m thirty-five years old and still afraid of needles and climbing ladders puts my stomach in knots. I don’t expect to overcome my fear of heights entirely, but it has been nice to have it lapse for a few moments. Maybe it’s not actually height itself that I fear, there is some incredible scenery way up there, more so I’m just afraid of the fall. Then again, who isn’t? Don’t expect me to go rock climbing, sky diving, or get a Frisbee off the roof. I’d like to be around for another 35 years and I know my limits.

Little Tigers

Not only does having 2 kids under the age of 5, and only 19 months apart make for a deadly combination (mostly for the parents), but add to their natural ninja skills and cyclone-like abilities a few months of Tae Kwon Do lessons and you have your own miniature lethal weapons.



I’m not sure what makes me more proud, the fact that Riley can kick butt & the fact that pushups & sit-ups are no problem for her, or that Tyler has truly found his calling as class clown.

Conversations similar to this have the standard form of entertainment:
Tyler, age 4, turns to fellow 4 year old student as they wait in line to demonstrate their skills and says,
“Do you have a pet dog?”
“No.”
“Do you have a pet cat?”
“No.”
“Then do you have a pet alligator?”
At this point I couldn’t hear the response over the laughter in the room.

This man has the patience of a saint.
Lucky for the student that has the
attention span of a ferret.



 

Riley - Master Kim - Tyler