One Not So Simple

A friend asked me how I came up with Lake Louise on my list of “places I would rather be.” I wish I had a short answer for that. Some time ago I was looking for a picture of Wall Lake in the Uintas, as my Google-images luck would have, I landed right in the middle of another blog. Immediately, I recognized that this was not the particular Wall Lake that I was looking for, so I read the blog for awhile to find where this one was located. Apparently, there is a Wall Lake in Canada as well. By now I was curious to learn more about the author. I bounced around the blog entries and quickly saw that she was a bicycle enthusiast and enjoyed reading about her excitement during her trips to Moab & Park City, and then I went a little numb. Damn it. She had cancer too. I now had to back up to the beginning of this blog to the first entry to read it completely through. My heart ached when I got towards the end and read that Heather did not survive breast cancer. Her friends & family have participated in cancer related fundraising bicycle rides & races, one of which was in Banff National Park, explaining how I stumbled upon photos of Lake Louise.

If you wish to read about Heather, her blog is http://onesimplegirl.wordpress.com

There you have it. Even more ironic, I was looking back in my calendar and exactly one year ago today I completed my last chemo treatment. Everyone said and everything I read told me it would be about a year before my body (and the rest of me too I suppose) would be back to normal. Not even close. Sure some things are much better, but I still have a lot of room for improvement. Now, rather than ending this entry on such a downer…let me share with you some of the best things I’ve heard recently.

Tyler: Mom, turn the water off! (As I was filling the tub with him already in it) The house is going to be all float.

Hmm…think this kid has heard any talk of floods lately?

Ever since Riley was a baby I’ve massaged her feet. I know, that doesn’t make sense for a person who finds feet repulsive (which I’m certain stemmed from working at a public pool for so long) to want to massage them right? She still loves it and while I do this before bedtime, she just starts talking about random happenings.

Riley: I saw a picture of you at Grandma’s when you were really young.

Me: Oh? Which one?

Riley: Well you had on red gloves and a tan jacket…

PAUSE FOR EXPLAINATION– When I was 15, my best friend & I had our “glamour shots” taken at Crossroads mall. Some of these photos have since resurfaced, although I thought I had destroyed all existing copies. A few of you know EXACTLY the one I’m talking about, and for that I’m truly sorry.

Riley: You looked a lot younger. You looked like a stranger, you know like someone going on a date to eat dinner or go bowling.

Me: (internal thought) Where does she come up with this stuff?

Tyler: Mom how old are you?

Me: Old.

Riley: But how old ARE you?

Me: I’m 35.

Riley & Tyler in unison: 35 YEARS OLD?!

Thanks kids. When your college funds are spent on my mid-life crisis, you’ll understand why.

Don't let these faces fool you.

I had put Tyler in a “time out.” He was adamant that he could sneak out, so I put him back in his room. He started crying as I walked down the hall so I stopped and just listened. His cries soon stopped then he said out loud,

“This is all my fault.”

Tyler I’m so proud of you. Most adults, me included, can’t and will not say those very words.

 

Tyler: Goodbye friend. I’ll love you tomorrow.

 

“You should never settle for who you are.” Michael Scott

What the_____?!

That has become the kid's favorite expression. There have been a few occasions when the question/sentiment has ended in a mild 4-letter word for which I take full responsibility. However, that’s exactly what went through my mind when I woke up this morning and looked outside only to see snow...again. It’s the last week of April so “What the hell?!” was completely appropriate. Even Riley looked out and said “I just want all this snow to melt!” C’mon Mother Nature, I understand menopause is rough, but maybe consider some hormone replacement therapy because this is really tiresome.

Here are a few places that I would rather be right now other than a cold 40 degrees in Utah:



Havasupai Falls



Musée Océanographique de Monaco



Keukenhof



Lake Louise - Canada





Seychelles











Here are some places you will never find me:

 

Dubai Hotels - or the Tower of Babel













Idiots!  And not only for wearing Speedos.





Preikestolen

 

Smoked crack prior to this photo op



Where would you go?  Or NOT go?

Gravity Always Wins

There are two that terrify me. First is needles, I cannot watch anything drawn from or being injected into me. I’d fail as a heroin addict. My second greatest fear...heights. This became very apparent when I was about 8 years old and hiked to the Timpanogos Cave with my family. Only a mile and a half hike up a non-strenuous paved trail, yet it felt like an eternity to accomplish. About mid-way up, I looked out into the canyon. Suddenly I felt like I could plummet to my death at any given moment. The vast open view was so overwhelming that I started to cry and continued crying the rest of the hike as I hugged the rock wall. The worst part was each switchback and knowing that I no longer had my precious wall to cling to. I’m sure my parents were already carrying a sibling on their backs, or else I would’ve made them carry me. Miraculously, I made it to the cave. I found complete comfort among the stalactites & stalagmites being tucked inside far from that treacherous drop-off. I was amazed by the incredible things I was seeing all around me, salt & pepper shakers, the shape of a St. Bernard’s head, and the mighty heart of the cave itself. I don’t even remember the walk down, getting in the car, or the drive home.

I went back to Timpanogos in my 20’s, this time to hike to the summit with my friends Sharra and Tony. We started early one summer morning. The weather was beautiful and there were a few mountain goats here & there. By afternoon we reached the summit, a little more than 11,700 feet about sea level. I couldn’t help but notice all the little groups of scub-scouts that made it there before me. I was a strong & healthy 20-something year old and slightly perturbed to find these little buggers had got here first! They must have started the night before.

There were plenty of rocks to secure myself between while we ate lunch. The anxiety didn’t kick in until we started our descent and reached the top of the Timp Glacier. It was July or August, still hot, but the glacier remained a frozen chunk of ice with a thin upper layer of slush. I sat at the top of this steep slope and looked down. What a breathtaking view, especially of Emerald Lake. There is was, an icy cold body of water, waiting to engulf you as you rapidly approach it while sliding down the hill at neck-break speeds.

I sat on my windbreaker tied around my waist, and noticed the squad of booger-miners slide down on their black Hefty garbage bags. Again! Beat by 8 year olds! Then Sharra & Tony took off without hesitation. I watched them glissade down so carefree. Obviously, they had done this before. I continued to sit and contemplated just how long it was take me to hike down the long way. I’m not sure how long I had sat there praying for someone to come up from behind and just shove me on my way, but I finally took a deep breath and went for it. It-was-so-fun! The rest of the hike, or hobble, was interesting, as the inherited arthritis in my knees had fully kicked-in by now. Aside from that, it was a great experience.



Approximately 1998 B.C. (before children), I went backpacking in the Uintas with a few friends/co-workers. We started at the Crystal Lake trailhead and made our way to Wall Lake. Not an exhausting hike, but once we set up camp we knew what needed to happen next. It was August and hot, especially for Uinta temperatures in the early evening.

There are two things you should know about a group of lifeguards:



I'm sure the lake was much,
much lower when I was there.



1) It is futile to expect them to stay out of water.

2) Water-safety rules do not apply to them, or so they think, (e.g. don’t just pack it, wear your jacket, cold can kill, and look before you leap.)



There was the lake, beckoning us to jump in, and not just jump in from the shore, but literally jump in. There’s a good reason why it is named Wall Lake. It was easy to climb up the wall of rocks, forgetting just how high up I had got before realizing I still had to come back down, one way or another. There I was again, like several times before, watching everyone else go first while I stood there, trying my best to muster enough courage to follow and wishing for that push from behind. Then pride stepped up and I finally jumped in. The water was a cold rush and once submerged it felt like my breath was stolen from my lungs, at the same time it was exhilarating.

Recently, I went snowboarding this winter after a 7-year hiatus, with my brother.  It wasn't too long before I got the hang of it again, and Shane was kind enough to let me warm up on the easy runs indicated by the welcoming green circles.  Then push came to shove, just like we were growing up, and he led me down an intermediate/expert trail.  It was so difficult for me to break out of the norm and feel comfortable about it, especially as I passed the blood-splattered snow (not my own, but a previous victim suffering from mid-life crisis) and thought to myself, "What the hell am I doing?"  However, I soon found myself having fun, exhausting, but fun.

I’m thirty-five years old and still afraid of needles and climbing ladders puts my stomach in knots. I don’t expect to overcome my fear of heights entirely, but it has been nice to have it lapse for a few moments. Maybe it’s not actually height itself that I fear, there is some incredible scenery way up there, more so I’m just afraid of the fall. Then again, who isn’t? Don’t expect me to go rock climbing, sky diving, or get a Frisbee off the roof. I’d like to be around for another 35 years and I know my limits.

Little Tigers

Not only does having 2 kids under the age of 5, and only 19 months apart make for a deadly combination (mostly for the parents), but add to their natural ninja skills and cyclone-like abilities a few months of Tae Kwon Do lessons and you have your own miniature lethal weapons.



I’m not sure what makes me more proud, the fact that Riley can kick butt & the fact that pushups & sit-ups are no problem for her, or that Tyler has truly found his calling as class clown.

Conversations similar to this have the standard form of entertainment:
Tyler, age 4, turns to fellow 4 year old student as they wait in line to demonstrate their skills and says,
“Do you have a pet dog?”
“No.”
“Do you have a pet cat?”
“No.”
“Then do you have a pet alligator?”
At this point I couldn’t hear the response over the laughter in the room.

This man has the patience of a saint.
Lucky for the student that has the
attention span of a ferret.



 

Riley - Master Kim - Tyler