A'musing' Munchkins

Kids are a constant source of entertainment. I'm certain that is the reason I have them, and with some proper training, they'll become very useful in removing ridiculous amounts of snow from the sidewalks.



In addition to the surprise murals found behind furniture and independently crafted body art, the things they say make up for Desitin covered couches and scorch marked carpet bearing evidence of a flashlight left in the "on" position and placed lens facing down for an unknown amount of time.

Here is a sample from the past week alone.

Tyler - age 3:
"I'd like more mashed ma-tatoes please."

"This train moves back & thorth, back & thorth."
It's the little bit of Viking in him shining through.

"Mmmm. That was yummyish."
('Yummy' is often interchangeable with 'tastyish' as well.)

While Derek was helping him with his cereal at breakfast Tyler said,
"Will you help me with this the rest for my life?"

"Do bubbles turn into cotton balls?"

Tyler was at my parent's house and asked
"Grandma, do we have any laundry to do today?"
Note to my mom: Stop tapping their domestic-duty abilities, it's severely reducing their productivity at our house.

"Mom, I think I love you."
Good job little man, at least you're thinking.



Riley - age 5:
"I know how to say 'friend' in Spanish! It's 'friend-o.'
That's OK baby, that's how I speak Spanish too.

We had to pick up some accoutrements for Lucifer this week. After returning home, Riley was intently watching me clean the loo for the cat.
"Mom, that doesn't look like kitty-glitter."
The chore would be a lot more pleasant if it sparkled & shined.

My Dad gave Riley a quarter and asked her to babysit her Grandma for one hour while he went to work, she replied;
"I can't, I'm not a human!"


These are classics.
Riley: Mom, when I grow up I want to be a doctor so I can touch a brain with my brain gloves on.

I asked her if she knew I was proud of her for eating good food, she replied,
"I know. It makes me strong and filthy."

My very favorite, "Stop it Mom! You're making me stupid."
Good reminder, thanks Riley.

The Devil in Disguise

A little over a week ago, Derek went for an early morning bike ride on the Legacy Trail. About an hour later he called the house. When I answered the phone he said, “Hi.”
There it was, that tone in his voice and if you know Derek you’ll understand my immediate thought. “Yeah, he’s about due for an injury” expecting him to say something like, “Hey could you meet me at Lakeview?” or “I’m at LDS hospital.” For awhile there I91 was neck-in-neck with Injury-59.

“I found a kitten,” he said.
“Oh.”
“Can I bring him home?”
“No, I’m a heartless beast and there is no room here for a kitten.”

Just kidding, that wasn’t my reply and there is room I suppose.

We always had dogs (or dōggies as my 2 year old niece calls them in her best James Taylor accent) growing up in the Enquist home. We also had fish, frogs, stray bunnies; my brother had a Cockatiel and turtles. I also had ferrets, the Pucks in the world of domesticated pets, but never before had I lived with a cat.

Reasons I Don’t Like Cats:
1. They are from the devil.
2. They are useless. Show me a seeing-eye-cat or a police department that employs a bomb/drug sniffing, criminal apprehending feline unit and I might change my mind.
3. I’m allergic to them.
4. Feline is Latin for “I will strategically place myself under your foot when you step”
5. If you look at them wrong, they’ll scratch your eyes out.
6. They have highly developed Ninja skills.
7. They are alien beings sent here if the form of loving fuzz balls, only to take over the world when we least suspect it.

Sufficed to say, Derek & the munchkins are smitten by the kitten. They refer to him as Gnocchi. I will affectionately refer to him as Lucifer.

Grammar Snob? or Is Society Becoming Increasingly Stupid?

If you want to see me cringe, watch me when I listen to Neil Diamond’s Play Me. I love him and his music, really I do, but “song she brang to me?” Honestly Neil? That was the best you could come up with?

Coincidentally, earlier this week Sarah’s word creation “refudiate” was recognized as the year’s best new word by the New Oxford American Dictionary. Fantastic! Look at that, I’ve answered my own question, but why stop there with this rant?

I suppose I’m somewhat of a grammar snob. Mine is far from perfect, but I’m amazed how little it is practiced by others. I have my fair share of typos, forgetting to insert a word here or there, but I make an effort not to be completely lackadaisical with the basic rules.

One afternoon I took a call in dispatch. I had obtained the location of the suspect in the theft (the prostitute that took the caller’s money without having rendered the services negotiated), and repeated back to the caller something like,
“Alta Motel, that’s where she’s at?”
After I finished the call, a friend & co-worker sitting nearby just shook his head and said with utter disappointment,
“Rachelle, you know better than to end a sentence in a preposition.”
Ouch. That hurt the ego a little, but he was right.

When I was about 6 or 7 years old, I informed my grandma, “I’m done eating my lunch” so that I could be rewarded with a sip of her opened bottle of Tab sitting on the counter. I clearly remember her response,
“Meat is done. You should say that you are finished instead of done.”

I recall telling my mom that “Me and Chelsey are going outside to torment my younger brother with nicknames that he despises.”

“Mean Chelsey?” my mom asked.

I was thinking to myself, “Yeah, I guess its a little mean.” only because we found such delight in the aforementioned activity.

“It’s ‘Chelsey and I’. Chelsey and I are going outside…”
(side note: these rules for quotations are killing me and by now I’m sure they’re all incorrect)

Having perused applications each spring from high school students, emails, and the constant misuse of conjunctions by Facebook users, I’ve decided that instead of a Coke I’d like to buy the world a Speak & Spell or at least a lesson on how to use spell check.

A few other points of interest before we conclude this weeks meeting:

- Riley’s friend, Kohl, came over for a play date this week. As he began making himself comfortable in our home I said, “I’m so glad you were able to come over.”
He looked at me with the most serious 5 year old face and replied, “Why wouldn’t I? You can count on me.”
Kids like Kohl restore my hope for the future.

- I have been cohabitating with a cat for 1 week now. Yes, you read that correctly. (Sigh) That will be my next post.

Cancer Tips 101

I had cancer, but it didn’t have me. Upon reading that it may seem slightly pretentious, but I’m still here and writing this, so it must be true. I’ve never been thrilled about putting myself in the “survivor” category. I believe there are many others that endured far worse than I have and much more deserving of that title.

When I was diagnosed, people suggested other blogs, books, and experiences with me. I was very grateful for this support, though I must admit I did not follow any of the blogs. Honestly, many of them were too damn depressing! Everyone’s experience is going to be different as will the effects of treatment.
I’ve had many friends ask me how they can help or support someone they know who’s been diagnosed with cancer. Some of you may be reading this because a mutual friend has referred you here. If that is the case, think back to when you were little and you got your first pair of Underoos. Mine were Spider Girl, and I know I was invincible when I had them on. I could feel the super-hero power surge through me. If you have been diagnosed with cancer or something as equally terrifying, get your proverbial Underoos on baby, because you’re going to need them!


Aside from love and support from the most incredible family & friends, unnumbered prayers and strength from many unseen, here are some things that helped me:

-Eat well. We inexplicably feel inclined to bake cookies or a chocolate dessert to help someone feel better. If you’re wondering what to give someone, try fruit, instant breakfast mix, granola bars, or Gatorade packets. Chemo (radiation depending on the area receiving treatment) can dry out your throat & mouth, so gum, hard candy with ginger (for nausea), or lifesavers are great to have. Don’t overload them with sugary confections.

Have oatmeal and yogurt the mornings you have Chemo treatments. This helps coat your stomach lining and the acidophilus in yogurt will help with mouth sores or cankers.

Use plastic utensils if you notice foods have a metallic taste. Chemo destroyed my taste buds. I couldn’t stand the taste of Coke and certainly not any soda from a can, I had to drink from a glass & use a straw.

Friends made chicken enchiladas for us one night. That was a HUGE help. My kids had something good to eat for dinner (not fast food) when I was too tired to make it, and it also gave Derek a break.

-Use a silk pillowcase. Unless you’re used to not having hair, when it falls out, your scalp will be tender. If you can no longer tolerate losing hair by the handful, shave it off. If and when you do, your follicles will continue to grow and irritate your scalp. Use baby oil for the first few days. Eucerin Calming Crème was excellent, for scalp & dry skin from radiation.


-I was fortunate to find a great wig and well worth the expense. This is what I get asked about the most, because vanity is alive & well and I fully support it! I went to Headcovers by Joni on 3300 south in SLC. My wig was from the Alan Eaton collection, style: Peace, color: Crème Brulee.

-The only book I would recommend is ‘Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor’ by Kris Carr.

-Wear waterproof mascara to EVERY doctor’s appointment.

-Get off your ass. If you sit on it all day and tell yourself you can’t do anything, then you are absolutely right. I tried to go for a short walk every night, even if that was just around the block. If it was too cold, I’d walk around the grocery store. Do what your body will allow you to do.

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday, and I love today.
-William Allen White

First of Many

Riley has been in Kindergarten a little over 2 months now. We had our first parent-teacher conference this week, got her 1st report card (that was weird), and our first major melt-down today.

We were running a little late this morning, so as we arrived to school, most of the kids were already inside. Riley got out of the car and headed towards the front steps when she turned and looked back at me. At first, I thought maybe she forgot her backpack or gloves, so I rolled down the window. She walked back to the car and said, “Mom, can I tell something?” Then her eyes welled up with tears. “I’m a little sad” as the tears were now streaming down her cheeks. By now I’m getting out of the car as fast as I can. I picked her up and we stood there crying together for a few minutes. We decided that she was still going to have a good day at school and I’d be back shortly to pick her up. As much as I wanted to take her back home and snuggle the rest of the day, I let my brave little girl walk back into school. I’m so thankful that she has a wonderful teacher that is kind, nurturing, and loves her too.

“Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

—Elizabeth Stone